The Arc of Masculine Spiritual Development
You will always think you could be doing more, no matter your accomplishments. Your woman will never stop complaining about your lack of presence, or commitment, or support. The feminine will never truly see your nobility, or how hard you work, nor we she give you the kind of sexual energy you crave for long. The people you love most will betray you, or die, or not care. You will give your heart and soul to something, only to have the world meet it with tepid approval. Or it will be ignored completely. If you are successful, it will grant you but a momentary reprieve as the inevitable feeling you should be doing more will win over the momentary elation of meeting your goal. In fact, you may suffer a crisis of faith, as everything you were taught would make you happy doesn’t quell the longing. You may search for ways to numb this longing. Men will disappoint you with their lack of depth and unconsciousness; you will feel angry and want to shake them.
If you do truly care about the people and the world, it will break your heart; the cruelty, judgement and violence we perpetrate on each other. You will fall prey to addictions and distractions, hoping to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom or unfulfilled dreams. You will hate yourself for it, though you might not admit it. Most days will feel like a burden, chasing the myth of success you think will finally get you someplace. You will ache for freedom, space, and time. You will ache for deeper purpose, more impact, and to be seen as a man of valor and integrity. It will elude you. You will feel hopeless and alone at times.
Feel all of it.
Let the futility of your efforts break your heart. Let the pain of your children’s failures, heartbreaks, sickness and death crush you. Relax into the sorrow of living until your shoulders drop and tears well up. Surrender completely.
Now you can begin.
Choose who you want to love and love them fiercely, with your wide open Grand Canyon heart. Let the weight of how much you love ripple into the world. Create something that is uniquely yours with the unbendable intention of a man walking through a wall. Be meticulous in the building. Let whatever it is be a monument to your truest heart and deepest consciousness. Let the rest go. There is not enough time. Anyone not aligned with your deepest purpose can Fuck Off!!
Breathe in the remarkable and mundane beauty around you at every turn. Celebrate it when you can. Smile and bow with a grateful heart. Let go of tasks and duties and allow the feminine to give you her love. Relax open the center of your body and let her shine all that is good in the world onto your weary soul. Let her know how grateful you are. Play with children (yours and others) as if it is the last moment on earth and your presence and love will inform the rest of their lives. It will. Whatever you do, hold nothing back. Not one word of truth, not one ounce of love, not one word of wisdom, not one feeling unfelt. Leave this world bloody and broken hearted, smiling and grateful. Let your legacy be your grounded presence and your fierce, aching heart. Nobody really gives a shit about the rest.
And don’t worry! You will be back.
This article was featured in Mind Body Green on April 3, 2018 in an article titled, "What Does Masculine Spiritual Development Look Like?"