Why Not Just Open?

In this short video from the February 2020 Valentine’s Intensive in Malibu, CA, John dispels the myth of, “I need to trust you before I can open my heart to you.”

You’ll learn:

• You can be in a long term marriage and still not trust your partner to hold your open-hearted truth. But how do you know if your partner can hold it if you don’t show it to them?

• You’re not opening your heart for them; you’re opening your heart for you because it is the safest, most satisfying, richest, and most authentic place for you to come from. When you realize this, everything changes.

• Part of the mechanism of why you can’t reveal it is because you are choosing not to trust your partner with it.

• This is the loop that most couples get into: “I’m going to withhold because I don’t trust them,” which causes your partner to feel less inspired to connect deeply because they can’t feel you. Then you trust your partner less because you can feel them disinterested, disconnected and unresponsive. And then your mistrust feels like a burden to your partner.

• John asserts: All the love you need to deepen and change the moment is already there in you.

• There’s no schedule for the feminine wild heart. The rainstorm wants to come when the rainstorm wants to come.

• Even the most conscious masculine beings can be caught off-guard by this, but John would argue that any good masculine partner seeing their feminine partner revealing the pain in their heart in a tender and honest way would feel drawn to them. It may take a few minutes of “holding the pose” of your revealed truth, but it would eventually open the moment to deeper connection.

Have you ever been in a fight that lasted hours, in which you said and did horrible or regrettable things to your partner; and then, out of sheer exhaustion, one of you broke open and started to cry? Then, all of a sudden, there was the possibility for love again. — Why are we spending hours fighting and saying all these horrible things to each other? Why not just open?