What is a Feminine Cleanse?
In this video from the February 2020 Valentine’s Intensive in Malibu CA, John describes the structure and benefits of a feminine cleanse. This structure can also be directly applied to a cleanse from the masculine.
You’ll learn:
A cleanse from the feminine and/or masculine allows you to start paying attention to all the ways in which you try to get a “hit” from the feminine and/or masculine - through seeking attention, approval, love, validation, etc. - and to begin to let those go.
You cleanse from sex, dating, flirting, romance, intimacy, eye gazing, intrigue, and any other ways in which you get this “hit.”
John recommends doing the cleanse for a minimum of 6 months and up to 12 months (or more!). As he explains, “"You don’t find the real shit until after about 90 days.”
Every interaction that is not absolutely platonic - and John argues that even those should be questioned - becomes transactional. For example, to a barista, you would simply say, “Thank you for the coffee” and then move on, without lingering in their gaze, flashing a flirty smile, etc. As John describes, keep it “light and polite.”
It may take a few weeks to prepare for your cleanse by having a conversation with any feminine and/or masculine in your life to untie and release any intrigue, romance, etc. With anyone you will still have to interact with because of work, co-parenting, etc., have a conversation to establish boundaries that will honor your container. For example, “We can’t flirt or cuddle. It’s going to seem like I’m being distant or that I don’t care about you, but I do. I bless you and I wish all the best for you.” Address every possible scenario in which there could be the possibility of relationship and let them know that you are going on a cleanse and will not be available for your pre-determined amount of time.
Get a men’s or women’s group to hold you accountable throughout the full duration of your cleanse, and create a space where you can bring all of your pain & discoveries.
The cleanse officially starts when all of that has happened.
Once you have begun, clear out as much space in your schedule as you can to be with yourself. 2-3 hours per day is a good average. John raked leaves. Now he waters plants.
You will get to know yourself on the deepest level possible. You let go of your identity in the world, so that you can find out who you truly are.
You also let go of the feminine and/or masculine in women and men so that you can connect to the Great Feminine and Masculine sources of mundane beauty and structure in your life. You make this time about your relationship with Her or Him — i.e. Go to the ocean, the mountains, sit under a tree, feel the breeze — You become deeply attuned to the nourishment of those resources and let go of the need to be given anything by women and/or men.
You can still do solo sexual practice, but rather than think about a woman or man, train yourself to feel the energy of the Great Feminine and/or Great Masculine, and become nourished by that.
John’s teacher said to him when he gave him this practice, “You have to fully let go of the possibility of relationship.”